all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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