BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
