If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
