Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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