Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
