I'm going to jail i love you
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
