went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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