he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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