there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
