ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
