you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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