Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize