tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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