Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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