I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...