I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?