Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (581) Bad night (3224)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  that's how i am about ashleys and britneys

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  (320): her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her (1-320): that's how i am about ashleys and britneys http://tfl.nu/ea81
  Replies (61) Good night (1158) Bad night (1776)
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  (718): View more from New York

  im about as happy as oj after his trial

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  (718): im about as happy as oj after his trial http://tfl.nu/g9i1
  Replies (20) Good night (2496) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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  (336): This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard. http://tfl.nu/5chf
  Replies (36) Good night (6086) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?

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  (518): so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for? http://tfl.nu/nqhg
  Replies (9) Good night (2754) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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  (701): So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster http://tfl.nu/imtg
  Replies (13) Good night (975) Bad night (3416)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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  (630): Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit. http://tfl.nu/nygb
  Replies (33) Good night (4133) Bad night (1354)
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  (619): View more from California

  Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings

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  (619): Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings http://tfl.nu/z81c
  Replies (13) Good night (3690) Bad night (943)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.

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  (608): I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus. http://tfl.nu/i1nm
  Replies (4) Good night (1717) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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  (267): I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions. http://tfl.nu/avse
  Replies (7) Good night (1293) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude

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  (303): Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude http://tfl.nu/hmhg
  Replies (4) Good night (1139) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk

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  (916): They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk http://tfl.nu/jqnb
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.

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  (206): He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years. http://tfl.nu/o48r
  Replies (6) Good night (330) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"

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  (651): these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck" http://tfl.nu/ykzg
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

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  (651): Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business". (651): I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/4wrb
  Replies (0) Good night (338) Bad night (167)

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