Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(440): View more from Ohio

oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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(863): View more from Florida

I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't

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(561): View more from Florida

You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...

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(317): View more from Indiana

I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

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