Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahaha how?

  (954): View more from Florida

  its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery

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  (954): i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi (425): hahaha how? (954): its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery http://tfl.nu/yw6o
  Replies (22) Good night (4333) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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  (785): Mines from giving head on hardwood floors. http://tfl.nu/x8b4
  Replies (25) Good night (3321) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  at least i was looking out for everybody

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  (403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz
  Replies (8) Good night (4702) Bad night (751)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.

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  (630): i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/iqfz
  Replies (56) Good night (6752) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off

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  (304): Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off http://tfl.nu/t5im
  Replies (48) Good night (1918) Bad night (3661)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out

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  (770): He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out http://tfl.nu/ozsp
  Replies (7) Good night (1072) Bad night (2774)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"

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  (512): he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls" http://tfl.nu/sggu
  Replies (6) Good night (1329) Bad night (3948)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK

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  (708): BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK http://tfl.nu/o0os
  Replies (9) Good night (3059) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot

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  (304): yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot http://tfl.nu/grz5
  Replies (2) Good night (1345) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.

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  (570): the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year. http://tfl.nu/g3sd
  Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.

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  (603): NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING. http://tfl.nu/lnbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1288) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.

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  (310): Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded. http://tfl.nu/s8id
  Replies (11) Good night (858) Bad night (1914)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.

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  (619): I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain. http://tfl.nu/lmb6
  Replies (1) Good night (464) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.

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  (443): This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid. http://tfl.nu/18yq
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.

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  (804): he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger. http://tfl.nu/pdqt
  Replies (2) Good night (554) Bad night (118)

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