Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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(773): View more from Illinois

will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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(850): View more from Florida

I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

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(858): View more from California

ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(801): View more from Utah

stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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(207): View more from Maine

Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!

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(716): View more from New York

definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!

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(817): View more from Texas

We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.

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