i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
