it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
