porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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