My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
