Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize