If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Drunk walkin through police station. America
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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