Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize