google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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