Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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