I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
