Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
