Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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