i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
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he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring