I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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