He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
did i just pee glitter
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
