He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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