Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize