HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
