I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
