this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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