did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
