We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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