with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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