i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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