3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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