Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
