He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize