Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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