Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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