I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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