So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
