he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
