so that wasnt chicken after all
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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