is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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