apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
