I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
