I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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