You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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