So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake