I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.