went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize