hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
