There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
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Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
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Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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