It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize